Boy Bye. Not Sorry.

Growing up in New York and “looking like a grown woman” by the age of 12, I have faced far too many cat calls, vulgar statements and rude comments. By the time a girl is a teenager (literally 14 years old) chances are she has been verbally assaulted by a man (not boy, fully adult aged man), more than once. The countless amounts of time you will hear “Nice tits” “You mad thick ma” and “You textin me?” are almost equivalent to the violent and insulting responses you get after ignoring these men. “F*** you” and “Ugly b****” because, of course, “Don’t nobody wanna talk to your fat a** anyway.”

 

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My question is, WHEN DOES THIS WORK? I would like to meet the couple who met while he was hanging out the window of the car and screamed, “I love the way that a** jiggles” and she turned around and said, “Who me?” blushed, and they fell in love…I’ll wait. Maybe I’ve gone too extreme, I doubt these yelling men really want a relationship, so lets get more realistic: When has a guy walked up to you waiting at the bus stop and said, “I bet your c****** madd tight ma” and she turned and said, “let’s go back to my place and find out”… -____- still waiting.

It really truly never ends for us either. There is no safe activity, no outfit, no location, and no title that will alleviate us from this harassment.

Clothing doesn’t matter. I have faced the psychological turmoil of saying to myself, ‘well maybe I just need to cover up more’ and really tricking myself into thinking that will make a difference.

  1. It doesn’t, because gross men are gross.
  2. I looove cute and well fitting clothes!
  3. My boobs are the same size in a tank top as they are in a sweatshirt. No hiding the twins.
  4. We also institutionalize that girls should cover up in order to be a lady, so boys don’t get influenced, etc. To all this I’m saying, BOY BYE.

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I will not support the idea that girls are in charge of who is going to attack her, a predator exists long before he attacks and he is fed by societal norms and media and possibly his own family’s excuses.

Relationship status doesn’t matter. I am not “proud” to, but I do use the “I’m married” excuse when a guy talks to me.

  1. I do this for speed. This is generally the fastest way to get a man to leave you alone.
    • Men don’t respect your opinion, feelings, personal space, preferences or current mental or emotional state enough to accept that you do not wish to speak to them, but some (possibly made up) other man doesn’t deserve his disrespect.
    • This also doesn’t always work because gross men are gross and they will respond with, “you could take that ring off” or “he don’t have to know”
  2. Women get MURDERED for not acknowledging men “appropriately”
    • Detroit woman murdered for refusing to give a man her number
    • College student goes on shooting spree for being ignored
    • This entire tumbler page

 

If you want to ignore or decline a man’s advances, sadly you have to worry about your surroundings, situation, history with this guy, and his behavioral past. Men if you get ignored, TOO BAD. You’ve ignored girls. You ignored that chubby girl in middle school that liked you, you can move on! By the time you come around, whether you think you’re being a gentleman or not, she is not interested, blame the dumb boys and men that she experienced for the last 5+ years. Sorry, not sorry. Boy BYE!

 

*Fun Facts (-_-): All of the quotes in this piece have been said to yours truly. I was once harassed by a man on the phone for 8 months (calling, cursing, hanging up) because he lied to me about his age, then I told him he was too old for me. Back in my public transportation days, I had a fake name and number ready to give out so guys would leave me alone.

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