Married girl says, “Relationship Titles Don’t Matter”

Fear of commitment and relationship titles seem to be a huge problem today. I say fear of commitment is stupid because if you spend all of your time with someone, give all of yourself to someone then tell yourself that you’re not “with” them so you ‘can’t get hurt’ chances are you will get hurt if they change this relationship in some way shape or form. If you don’t put yourself in this type of situation, that is fine, if that is what you want. wp-1471233378036.gif

I have already made my own arguments about why weddings don’t matter but so much. Chasing a ring and chasing a person are two very different things. If you just want to have the big show and have people buy you stuff than you can have a fantabulous birthday, graduation or house warming party, without any legal documents  (other than a lease) being signed!

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As far as relationships go, each and every single one is different. A couple can be dating, without a title because they never had “the talk” and be more committed and there for each other than a couple that has been married for 12 years. Two people that have children together can not be in a relationship and do a great job taking care of those kids, and two seemingly happily married people with a child can have no desire to be together and teach that innocent child that people should stay together even if they hate each other.

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You could end up in your own Desparate Housewives moment

If all your friends pressure you into getting married to a man that turns out abusive, are they all gonna get punched too? NOPE. If you put off getting into a committed relationship to someone that is your ‘soul mate’ because you don’t want to talk about it seriously, who are you hurting? You and that person, you say you love so much. It’s all iffy. You dive in or you don’t, but it should be what YOU want.

Do you want this person as your partner? Do they make you happy? Do you do your best to make them happy in return?  Do you want to raise children with them? Do you agree that you never want children? Life events, personality traits, sense of humor, sensitivities, understandings, and desire to share that specific type of relationship with a person is what ties people together. Not jewelry, pieces of paper, or “what your friends think.”

 

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19 Comments Add yours

  1. Latoya Scott says:

    I like to keep it simple. For me, relationships are all about the basics and the basics to me is do I like you and do I love you. Sometimes I can love, but not stand someone. If that’s the case…well that won’t be too pretty of a marriage, would it?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. sensaishanal says:

      Lol the important part is that you’ve figured out how you operate. This will let you have appropriate relationships. That’s the point lol

      Like

  2. I need to know where I stand and that means commitment. Some women don’t need that or pretend they don’t need that so they won’t run a man away. It doesn’t take 5 years for a man to know if he wants to marry you

    Like

    1. sensaishanal says:

      Every relationship is different. I think if you’re open and honest about what you want in your relationship that is what is important. If you believe in the sanctity of marriage and that is what you have always wanted then you need to be upfront and only get with a partner that believes the same thing. That way you don’t waste the 5 years to start. If you are cool with the level of your relationship then great, if not you should move on.

      Like

  3. You share a lot of truth in this post. I know I need to send some of my single friends over to read these slices of wisdom.

    Like

    1. sensaishanal says:

      Thanks! Every relationship needs to grow and live on it’s own, not in comparison to others. Being single can truly be a blessing sometimes. My husband says he waited a long time to be in the right relationship and thank God he did.

      Like

  4. Jo says:

    Interesting post. When I was younger, I wanted to be married because I was in a long term relationship and just to be married. Now, I just focus more about being happy whether I am married or not.

    Like

    1. sensaishanal says:

      That is exactly how it should be! You should want yourself to be happy and any relationship you have (romantic or not) should contribute to your happiness!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. mimicutelips says:

    I believe in living life on my own terms. My Boyfriend and I have been together for 12.5 years. We constantly get asked why we aren’t married. We are where we are and we aren’t going anywhere. We might get married, we might not.

    Like

    1. sensaishanal says:

      “We aren’t going anywhere” how many people are in failing marriages and cannot really say that? Do whatever works for you! Your fam looks happy. That is what is important.

      Like

  6. I can see your points here. I definitely wanted to get married after my husband and I had been dating for 5+ years and it wasn’t about the jewelry or piece of paper, but instead about my outlook on marriage. I think marriage is the ultimate commitment that you can give to another person and I wanted us to give one another that before we expanded our family. I also LOVED my wedding day, but I am a firm believer that the marriage is way more important than the wedding.

    LiveLifeWell,
    Allison

    Liked by 1 person

    1. sensaishanal says:

      That is kind of the point. The Marriage is waaaay more important, your relationship with our partner is the most important thing. Is it healthy? supportive? fun? I just support talking to your partner about what you want to do and the road you want your relationship to take. If two people that want to get married are honest about that goal, then they will be fine. I am very glad you enjoyed your wedding day, but I am more glad you enjoy your husband 🙂

      Like

  7. Kiwi says:

    As I am older, wiser and had some serious dating experience I know what a real commitment is. I legit can no longer date for giggles and cuteness…its more than that its about longevity and if I can marry and procreate with them. Are they a good life partner will they make a good parent. Who have times to play games. Titles mean more than you think…it means solidifying your life with someone for life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. sensaishanal says:

      Titles mean as much as the people in the relationship WANT them to mean. That’s the point of this post really. If you believe in the sanctity of marriage and have wanted to be married your whole life then that is what you are subscribing to when you say you want to get married and go through with the process. If you just think you want to get married because you have been watching tons of say yes to the dress…not as special lol

      Like

  8. I think the couple has to determine what’s right for them. And each person has to know what THEY want and not be persuaded to take action based off of what others want for them. No ring or ceremony will fix a broken/unhappy relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. sensaishanal says:

      SAY IT AGAIN! So many people think a pretty ring, some expensive cake, and tons of bills are going to make their relationship great…? Why? How? If you’re relationship wasn’t great to start, committing to it on paper isn’t going to suddenly fix it.

      Like

  9. Jaye says:

    Some good truths here. I think women in general but obviously as a whole think marriage is the ultimate commitment. For me, the ultimate commitment is does the person ride for and with you in every sense of the word.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. sensaishanal says:

      EXACTLY. I feel like so many people that have been in relationships for a long time and have people questioning and pressuring them have lost sight of that.

      Like

  10. Jonna says:

    People I think get excited about the person or they want to person to be, and not excited about commitment. As a married girl, I made the decision to be committed to the commitment and not just the Mr. So when he is on my last nerve, I still know there is a greater thing that I’m a part of.

    Liked by 1 person

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